Don’t you feel like you are never satisfied enough? Like you always want more. Like you are never completely content with what you have. Don’t take this the wrong way. I’ve never felt happier and healthier than I am at this point of my life. I live in one of the world’s most busiest and vibrant cities, have the most loving and caring fiancé, work in an excellent PR firm, and have the most awesome family anyone can ever ask for. I am thankful for all this and I really am blessed for everything that I have. But at times I just feel like there’s more to life, there’s a life out there that I’m missing out on. Don’t you go through this? People never want to be where they actually are. Sometimes, I think it’s just me trying to find the greenest of all the grasses. Other times I think that god just created me this way, like gratification isn’t a comfortable state for me. I’m always wanting more, more, more, and contentment is a standstill.
I get bored easily. I crave change. I like my hunger. I always say to myself this: If I’m happy and satisfied with everything I have around me then there is really nothing to look forward to in life. If I have everything that I need, what else is there to do? But at times, I feel that that this approach is not right, if you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.
I do like my routine. I like my daily workouts, and I absolutely hate myself when I skip them. I like going to bed at respectable hours. I like my morning cinnamon and raisin oatmel. I like waking up to Lionel Richie’ all night long tune. I love my 30 minute reading session before bed time.
With all that, I still feel that I need some sort of rush. Some fire.
What I love about my job is that I have no such thing as a daily routine. Each day holds a surprise. I might be in Ras Al Khaimah riding a golf cart one day, the next day I might be working with a bunch of local artists supporting their career paths and helping them become Dubai’s biggest stars, other days I might be chilling behind my desk writing an article on the declining prices of real estate in Dubai. Take a moment and think about the different surprises that come across you in your day. You all have them, but you never truly value them.
I met my fiancé for the first time almost 10 years ago in High shool. We never spoke, never said a word to each other. 6 years later, we met on a random night in Hamra. I was out with some girlfriends having a drink when all of them decided to go back home. My brother decided to pop by late, and something inside of me told me to stay with my him and so I did, and I bumped into Rami on my way out. I told him he reminded me of Mark Wahlberg. And boom, we got engaged 2 years after that.
I got an email one day from dad’s friend asking me to meet his younger cousin, Suleiman. This was 2 years back, when I was living in Qatar. He politely asked me to give Suleiman a call and introduce him to my friends as he has just moved from DC and knew absolutely nothing about the country, and had no friends. His email was in my junk folder for over a month. I rarely ever check my junk items, but I decided to check it that one day, and I saw his email. I called up Suleiman and took him out with my friends for some drinks. Today, Suleiman has become part of my family. He’s more than a brother to me. He is my fiance’s best friend, and neighbor in DC. Suleiman made Qatar home for me and all my friends. His home became our home. I can easily say that my life in Qatar wouldn’t have been the same without Suleiman and his family.
Life is spontaneous. Its full of magic. I hate planning my life. I love surprises. I get worried that if i plan every moment of my life, I have no room for excitement. I have no room for the unexpected, the magic, the fire. And, that’s what I want. I want to open my life up enough to experience that everyday kind of surprise. Because life can be a lot of gloomy things, but it can also be so, so, so many good things, that’s the thing to remember.
Remember that all we ever have is right now. Forget about the past. Don’t worry about the future. Take each day as it comes, and most of all, stop thinking that the grass is greener, because it never really is. I will need to work on that part.