“I remember the day I turned thirty. I was getting out of the shower and I stood in front of the mirror and stared at myself for a long time. I examined every inch of my body and appreciated the fact that I finally looked like a grown woman. I also assumed that this was how I was going to look for the rest of my life. The way I saw it, I was never going to age; I’d just look up one day and be old.”-Terry MacMillan
So, it happened. I’ve hit my 30. Well that took some time. I reached that massive milestone I had long been dreading. And, in my infinite wisdom, I have been thinking about this day for the last couple of months. I laughed and weeped to myself about how difficult life can be, but at the same time, how happy I am with everything in my life.
I have beautiful parents. Crazy Talented siblings. Awesome friends. The coolest and the most gorgeous best friend (who also happens to have the same birthday as I do) And a kick ass job with the loveliest team anyone could ask for.
Yes- I’m pretty darn lucky.
Honestly, turning 30 isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I still have the body and soul of a 20-year-old. I still twerk as I could at 20. I now do more pull ups than I ever could. Most importantly, I can oficially cook my first Mloukhie dish without destroying the chicken. Oh, and I still haven’t found a husband. Just sayin.
Many people have told me that your 30’s are your best years. The 30’s are the years when shit gets real. Purely because it was as though the needle on the ‘giveashit-o-meter’ reaches zero without their being any kind of penalty.
However, I do understand people who feel the pressure to be somewhere at a certain point in their lives, and that when they would hit that number, shit needs to start happening, action needs to be done. But- Who’s to say where you should be? Who says there needs to be a destination? In all honesty, There is no road map. You could be the greatest, most detailed of organisers, and, at some point, you’re still making it up as you go along. WELCOME TO MY WORLD.
My last year was filled with an incredible number of learning opportunities. I stopped focusing on finding love and turned my own capacity for affection inward. I learned that the greatest love I could ever find was the love I have for myself. I let go of people who weren’t meant for me. I started studying for a fitness coaching certificate, something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time. I trained hard. I cut dairy out of my life. I made awesome friends. I learned how to do my first handstand. I traveled solo. I cooked. I got promoted to an Associate Director. I celebrated my birthday with the most amazing individuals who have made Dubai feel home to me.
People made me feel like turning 30 was a scary thing. Like it was the end of the world. Especially the fact that I am still single, and nowhere close to getting married. They made me feel that there was some grand work I was destined to continue when I hit this number for as long as I am able. Honestly, it felt the complete opposite. I didn’t feel like there was some grand work I was yet to begin. Instead, I actually feel like I’ve got my shit together.
There is something about 30 that makes you realize that there is a path you haven’t yet taken. It’s exciting. More than that, there is a better path that you are in good enough shape to try. As Robert Frost once said, “it makes all the difference.”
Today, when I look in the mirror, I smile.
I look back over my shoulder and wave goodbye to the last 10 years as a twenty something, not with sadness but with so much pride at who I have become and more importantly, who I am becoming. I’m going to embrace this new chapter of my life and be thankful for everything that’s happened up until this point.
And so, I welcome myself to the 30’s.